The Tokyo District Court on November 5 dismissed a lawsuit by a woman in her 30s seeking 3.3 million yen from her former partner, who she said broke off their engagement unilaterally because she would not take his surname on marriage. Judge Miiru Hirai ruled that the breakup could not be called an unjust termination of the engagement.
The woman began dating the man around April 2017. In November 2024 he proposed, giving her a watch, and she accepted a ring from him.
When he proposed, the man asked her to take his surname after the wedding. The woman, who had told him before that she did not want to change her own name, said she could not agree. They discussed it four more times without either changing position, and in February 2025 the man told her the engagement was over.
What the court weighed
In court, the woman argued that during their talks the man made remarks she called demeaning to women, including that he had to carry on the family home as the eldest son and that it would be embarrassing in the eyes of society for a man to change his surname. She said the engagement had been broken unilaterally and that her personal dignity had been hurt.
The ruling held that how a person chooses to be named is "an important matter concerning individual identity and views of family, and the opinions of both parties, including the values underlying them, should be respected." The man's remarks were "frank opinions based on his own values," the court said.
The court put weight on the fact that the two had discussed the issue repeatedly before the engagement ended. With their views irreconcilable and marriage between them having become difficult, it concluded that the breakup was not one-sided.
Japanese law requires a married couple to share a surname, and in the great majority of marriages the wife takes the husband's. The case turned on a choice the system forces couples to make before they can register a marriage.